u/yokyopeli09 said:
I’ve been trying to obtain European citizenship via descent since last May. In order to apply, I require my mother’s and grandfather’s birth certificates. I live far out of state from my family and since May, for several several months now, my mother has been completely reluctant to help me in any way, despite her being the only one who can legally procure her birth certificate and who can help my elderly grandfather procure his.
Her reluctance to do this very single thing has caused a serious strain on our relationship, and I do not understand why she won’t help me, it’s honestly broken my heart, this citizenship is the only thing I want in life and time and time again she says “she’ll do it later”. I’ve tried to arrange to come down and person so that we can do it together, but she keeps shifting and cancelling.
If she hasn’t done it after 10 months of asking, I struggle to believe she’s going to do it, my question is why? Why would my own mother withhold my future from me? We have previously had a decent relationship but this has left me blindsided. She’s begun saying things like “it’s not fair that I can’t get it too” (as the citizenship requirement requires passing a language exam, I have a gift for languages and she doesn’t. This is especially hurtful because if this is the case she’s putting herself above me.)
Your Reading
First of all, let me tell you that I have been in a similar situation, so I understand how you feel. Now, let’s use the cards to try and find an explanation and find a solution.
The 6 of Swords in this case definitely represents your mother’s vision of the situation. You’re moving away farther from where you were born, and obtaining the European citizenship will cement your position in another country. For her, it will be an official proof of distance between you and your childhood home. You will be a citizen of another country, and it feels like you’re going away forever. Currently, there’s at least a possibility that you may have to return, but after you become a citizen of a new country that chance will be reduced to slim.
The Hanged Man points out general selfishness. It could be your mother’s, in case she really sees you requesting a foreign citizenship as a bad omen for her life. Or it could be yours – that depends. Often, older people struggle with things like health problems, lack of energy, depression, fear of loneliness and financial hardship. Demanding that she dedicate time to fulfill your request might be what this card is about. For her, doing the requested paperwork may feel like personally signing you off.
If this is really about how she feels, then the solution is to change her perspective.
She is The Empress, the motherly figure that the whole citizenship situation depends on. Instead of straining your relationship further, try the same approach with your mother as a commoner would approach their empress: be respectful, comply with her wishes, and gently ask her for favors in return. Don’t spend money on costly legal procedures just yet. Try to make her feel inclined to be generous with you.
The Ace of Pentacles signals a lack of reason. Try to make her understand that a change in your status in another country will not alter your current relationship in any way, you won’t be gone for good or lost forever to her. It may be necessary to go there and stay with her, helping her request the certificates so you can do it together. Such personal matters are done in person, I don’t think you will succeed over the phone.
And with the Seven of Wands, be prepared that it’s going to be a tough challenge and may take another seven months or more. Be prepared for obstacles in obtaining the certificates, even after your mother is fully on board. At the same time, keep your goal in mind and don’t hesitate to act when necessary.
Your Answer
Give your mother yet another chance and use a different approach. If you still don’t succeed after another seven months, proceed to request the necessary documents through a lawyer. That way you can say that you really tried.
Do you have any additional questions? You may ask them below this post.
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